I find myself going under. I’m drowning in emotions and sadness and I don’t know what to do. It’s so hard to miss someone who doesn’t want you anymore. It’s so hard to love someone who doesn’t love you. It’s so hard to want someone who doesn’t want you. I’m sitting here trying desperately to love myself and move forward but tonight it’s just not working.
I’m walking streets where we walked. Going places I’ve only been with Stephen at my side. It hurts so much right now. I’m so damned vulnerable and scared.
All my family and friends are wonderful, yes. But they are not my partner, my Esteban. The man who did a thousand little things for me to make me happy. The man who threw me away. It’s hard to be out of the fog and drop kicked into reality without him.
I just miss him.
The girl who mistook her chair as a pulpit for the soles of her shoes 